Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A Conversation with Nick

My little brother and I often chat via email while we are having slow days at work. This was an email chain we had just before Christmas:

S: You can tell it's been cold, because I was walking in from the parking lot, and I was thinking "I think It's warming up, it's pretty nice out!" It was 17 degrees. 

N: I know, 20 in the next few days looks sooo nice. 
It snowed this morning and so I woke up and left early... and got here 30 minutes early. Not much i could do. 

S: Except look for Corgi videos. 

N: Then no work would get done, not even christmas shopping 

S: That's what everyone gets for Christmas! Corgi videos! 

N: Everyone wins! 

S: Done and done. Best Christmas ever. 

N: Who would complain? Other than Vallhund who thinks that christmas needs to be more solemn. 

S: True. Vallhund wants a more respectful, classical Christmas. 

N: He is all about the classics and spending time with family. 

S: He prefers hymns to singing carols around a piano. 

N: While corgi is all about all day christmas story marathon. 

S: And day drinking Christmas beer. Vallhund sniffs at drinks before five, and then only wine or a classy martini. 

N: He enjoys looking at the tree too. He just likes relaxing. 

S: And sitting by a crackling fire. 

N: And secretly a christmas story but he wont admit it. 

S: He watches it at night after everyone else has gone to bed. 

N: With mulled wine. 

S: And maybe canapés. 

N: But then vallhund would go chop wood and relax. 

S: In a flannel shirt and earflap hat, naturally. He is all about having the appropriate attire. Corgi would wear ripped sweatpants. 

N: Mhm. He would have a nice relaxing herd. 

S: And they would wrestle a lot. 

N: And corgi would be all "don't herd me!" 

S: I am the herder! Stop herding me! Hey, let's go find some goats. 

N: Or sheeps. They want to herd the sheeps, but the bigger dogs are all "no way. Sheeps are big time." 

S: If you start with the sheeps, you'll be herding them all dang day. Because sheeps don't listen. 

N: Exactly. But vallhund knows. He knows he has the skills to pay the bills. 

S: He does. Sheeps respond to him, because he barks in Viking. 

N: They talk back and he goes and gets his helmet. 

S: That scares them into behaving. It's an intimidating helmet. 

N: He would have a spear to go with the magic helmet, but he has no thumbs. 

S: That is his biggest life's sadness. That is what he thinks about when he gazes moodily at the Fjords. 

N: He has dreams. Dog dreams. That are about more than duck bacon and go. 

S: Those are the short term dreams. But he has PLANS, yo.